The biggest news is that I turned my book — re-titled The Sex Book: Myths, Positions, Taboos and Possibilities — into the publisher (Disinformation Books), so now all I have to do is wait for the edits and dive back in. There’s this sort of negative space when you finish a book. Like, what do I do now?
Happily, other people and assignments having been keeping me too busy to notice my postpartum angst.
If you haven’t yet heard of the crazy human rights violation that is AB1576, let me introduce you. AB1576 is a bill heading to the California State Senate, that would mandate condoms and testing for all porn performers and all porn shoots. It sounds like a good idea at first, but when you look at it for just a wee bit longer, it starts to reveal itself as a terrible disaster – a disaster of policy and morals.
For a full expression of why you should oppose AB1576, as well as how it intersects with the LGBT community, here’s my article about the bill for Slate, and below is an excerpt.
To fight AB1576 isn’t to argue against HIV testing for individuals, but against state-mandated testing. State-mandated testing is an HIV test without consent, in the sense that a performer would be forced to have one to work. AB1576 states that not getting an HIV test coincident with a porn production, even a small-scale one featuring you and your partner, would be a crime. This would be true even if two men who had already tested positive HIV wanted to make porn together. They would have to get tested every 14 days. Furthermore, two HIV+ men would have to wear condoms in all productions, since the bill does not distinguish who should wear condoms based on status. Whatever your feelings about two men with HIV having unprotected sex, they certainly don’t need testing every 14 days, and we now know that men with undetectable viral loads do not transmit HIV. If that’s not enough to disturb you, the bill would also criminalize two long-term monogamous partners making their own porn. They’d have to test for the production and wear condoms as well.
I’ve also been interviewed several times about it. For DailyDot on how safer conditions for performers require more than some overreaching bill, Tits And Sass along with Jiz Lee on the fallout of the bill and its potential for harm , Vice, and more.
To take action opposing AB1576, click here. Then when you see me, tell me you did it, and I’ll give you a huge hug for your help.
One of my favorite pieces to write in the past few months was my essay on the 1980s straight porn film, Debbie Goes To College for Nerve.com. Nerve asked me to write a piece about something from pop culture that shaped my sexuality. Maybe it’s a little obvious, but porn shaped my sexuality, especially straight porn, since that was all that was available.
Here’s an excerpt:
When I was young, I didn’t understand why I fixated on the blowjob scenes so much. It must be because I want some college girl to do that to me, I thought (wrongly, of course). Most gay guys my age have had this experience: we watched straight porn because it was what we had access to, and what we presumed we wanted to watch. But really, I’m not sure what’s more confusing: gay guys watching straight porn or straight guys watching it. I mean there are naked men in it. How do straight men cope with watching men have sex with women? There are all these dicks. Guys fucking. Butt cheeks. The mystery of straight porn is that it can’t ever really be straight.
I continue to contribute, albeit sporadically, sex and relationship advice to Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s blog. Since Patti and I often have totally divergent views on sex and relationships, writing my column, Free Sex, has been fun. Here are two entries, one on something I call “desire etiquette” and another on why you should let go of the concept of “forever.”
I also wrote my first piece on music! It’s an interview with a short article – I talk to my friend Chris Leo (brother of Ted Leo, power pop superstar and Aimee Man’s bandmate in The Both) about his 1990s post-punk band, The Van Pelt. That era of music holds a special place for me and the formation of my values and aesthetics, so it was awesome to sit down with Chris and talk about it.
More Blog – What Do You Think?
Speaking of venturing out, I’m going to be posting more often on this blog, which means my blog is going to get a little more, um, bloggy. Since I’m selling most of my longer form writing at this point, I want to funnel some of my less refined and more casual thinking into this space. I can’t keep up with the one-post-a-day thing, but since I’m intending to do more here, I’d love to know what you’d like to hear more about? I’m open to any suggestions regarding form or content. Interviews? Images? Musings? Quotes? Tumblr-style curation? Etc.
Comment below or send an email with ideas to connerhabibsocial at gmail
I’m featured in the documentary Straight Guys, which is all about gay-for-pay performers. Don’t worry, I’m not straight (and how
dare you think that even for a second!), but I have worked with lots of men who identify as heterosexual. The film also features my pal, porn hotty Bravo Delta, and the gay (“gay”?) studio Chaos Men. Here’s the trailer, which is just a little NSFW.
GQ France gave me a little shout out, which I think is pretty awesome. And that led to me a quick flurry of me appearing in French media. Here’s an extensive review of my work on the French blog, Pop and Films.
Finally, I’m one of 80 interviews in the book, Around the World in 80 Gay Porn Stars. Always nice to be between the covers with 79 other fellas. It’s edited by Jimi Goninan and Paul Travers, and you can buy the ebook here.
I’ll be appearing at Catalyst Con in Los Angeles in September as an opening keynote speaker!
Catalyst Con is the country’s big sex-worker/sex-positivity/sex-education/sexual liberation conference. I’m honored to be a part of this event. To register, go to the Catalyst Con site. Then come hang out with me and a bunch of people who know a lot about sex. Sound like fun, doesn’t it? Catalyst Con 2014 is September 11-14. Click here for more info.
If you want to bring me to your school or non-academic organization to speak, click here for more info.
Okay, that’s all for now!