What To Expect

14 Aug

Life in porn is often fun. It’s also a tremendous amount of pressure.

What To Expect

Be confident. Don’t tell everyone your real name. Make sure you go to the gym. Don’t eat carbs. Don’t eat pastries. Don’t eat. Answer all your emails. Suck your stomach in. Have a smile on your face. Be nice when someone stops you and you’re walking down the street. Don’t say anything stupid. Don’t criticize any studios. Don’t complain about your scene partners. Update your Twitter. Make sure your opinion is the official line of the gay community. Be confident. Don’t talk to guys at bars, they should talk to you. Don’t eat bread. Stand up straight. Don’t talk about your relationships on facebook. Don’t date anyone until you’re all through with this unless he’s in porn too. Don’t get to egotistical but don’t forget who you are, either. Don’t ever under any circumstances act effeminate. Accept that you’re educating the public but that it’s “just porn” at the same time. Don’t complain that your legs hurt when you’re topping. Don’t complain that your ass hurts when you’re bottoming. Cum on command. Don’t let your body slip. Get drunk or do drugs because if you don’t, you’re no fun. Answer the same questions again and again. Pretend that sex is the most interesting thing you can think of. Don’t sound smart. Don’t shave your face. Don’t shave your chest. Don’t shave your ass. Shave everything. Be perfectly smooth. Clean out before every shoot until you can’t take anymore. Don’t ask for higher pay. Be confident. Listen to long talks about how the industry is changing. Be thankful that you got work at all. Make sure you email the studios for more work. Dance at events. Get tested all the time. Pay attention to your sore throat. Have sex with this guy you’re not attracted to. Be okay with it if you don’t get a call back right away. Have an opinion. Don’t have any opinions at all. Talk only about trivial things. Accept that you’ll be made fun of if you say something serious. Don’t joke about that, anything but not that. Worry about the future. Worry about your life. Did you fuck your life up? Don’t tell people that you worry about that. Be confident. Don’t eat pasta. Don’t eat sugar. Don’t complain. Do your job. Make sure you escort. You’re a slut if you escort. Make sure you work for a studio. You’ve got nowhere to go if you work for a studio. Don’t ever teach or work with kids. Hide everything. Don’t hide anything. Have a tan. Work out harder. Understand when someone ends a date because it’s hard to date “someone like you.” Forget about your heart. Work on your body.
Don’t worry if what you’re doing is the right thing. Don’t ever question if it’s the right thing. Be confident. There are no morals here, there’s no imagination, it’s just porn.
Now fuck.

18 Responses to “What To Expect”

  1. Harvey Walker August 14, 2010 at 2:34 am #

    Ha! That about sums it up.

  2. Tony August 14, 2010 at 6:59 am #

    Thanks for the insight and I commend you

    • Johnny August 14, 2010 at 10:03 pm #

      You are a poet!

  3. Jack Manly August 14, 2010 at 7:03 pm #

    Love it. Very witty and on target with all the conflicting advice. You’re like the Tony Robbins of porn!

  4. TexasBrian August 14, 2010 at 7:35 pm #

    LOL… So nuanced ;-)
    Love it…
    B.

  5. John Deshyr August 15, 2010 at 8:08 am #

    Brilliant. You gave it heart without giving it soul. I love this piece.

  6. Wilmaryad August 25, 2010 at 7:28 pm #

    Who knew a porn actor had the same worries as a politician running for office? ,-) Cool post.

  7. Michael Strangeways August 26, 2010 at 5:50 am #

    uh, you’re a good writer!

    Keep a diary.

    Write a book…memoir or fiction.

    You won’t be pornemployable forever, so it’s nice to have another talent on the back burner…

  8. Gay Porn Fanatic August 27, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

    This is amazingly Brilliant!

  9. Chriso August 30, 2010 at 5:51 pm #

    It’s funny how a lot of this could just be about being gay. And by “funny” I mean “painful”.

  10. Jasun Mark October 15, 2010 at 9:27 pm #

    I feel like this should be written on little cards for everyone who wants to get into the industry to memorize before they even think of it.

    I feel like doing a “behind the scenes but still publicly-known porn personality” version.

    Thanks, Conner, for doing this… it really does put a lot in perspective.

  11. Tom October 27, 2010 at 9:13 am #

    I did porn a couple of times. I haven’t made a career of it though, and I’m not interested in doing that. I was 18 when I first fucked on camera. The idea seemed rebellious, not really sexy. That comment about not working with children makes me feel a bit sad: I’d been thinking about teaching high school after university.

    • Karl of Themyscira....the indescribable lightness of being Wonder Womans number one fan. December 9, 2010 at 1:13 am #

      Interesting tips there about the ‘buisness’. I couldnt give up eating bread though!

  12. William Myers December 18, 2010 at 5:13 pm #

    You’re such an old soul, Conner, & we love you for it!

  13. Victor February 14, 2011 at 3:45 am #

    This is my first post on your blog. You gave me such good insight into the life of a porn actor. I am from Boston, in fact live on Savin Hill, near UMASS Boston. I can empathise with how difficult it must be to be getting such conflicting messages from all and sundry. I like your blog as it provides insight into the pros and cons of someone in the business. What I really like is your humility, it comes across in your writing. After reading your blog and being an avid follower and fan of the one and only Race Cooper, I must say I am impressed that there are such GOOD, INTELLIGENT people in the business. your post are both thought provoking and intelligently written.

  14. proudbator May 25, 2013 at 6:33 am #

    very interesting concept abt the industry, from what ive seen its just like that! thats why im working the other way around and it is paying off. mybphylosophy is keep it real, keep it your way, if people dont like who you are the way you are, they r welcome to walk away as i will still be there, doing my porn to real people.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Round Up, 52311 « Deliciously Queer & Sinful - May 23, 2011

    [...] What To Expect | Life in porn is often fun. It’s also a tremendous amount of pressure. [Conner Habib's Blog] [...]

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    [...] Many times there is no passion (or it is faked), and many porn actors just go through the motions. Shooting conditions can sometimes be unbearable, and some scenes take multiple days to [...]

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